작문과 교정

다른 회원이 쓴 작문을 교정해 주세요! 교정하시려면 작문 내용을 클릭하세요.
각 언어별 작문을 하고 교정을 받으세요.작문하기
Short presentation in school (교정 : 2)
국적 : Korea, Republic of
모국어 : Korean
구사언어 : English(초급), Chinese (Mandarin)(초급)
학습언어 : English(선택안함)
상세보기 쪽지보내기
There’s no need for students to speak foreign language fluently, also not all students have to learn foreign language in this school. Of course, learn foreign language can help them to communicate with foreigners, so their view of seeing world can be widen, or to get a job opportunity, but, if schools force students to study who do not really want to and have no willingness to learn, it might be a waste of time and energy for them. So, students can do as they want.
There’s no school’s official sports team, but students can make their own teams by gathering people who are interested in the same events. And if students want to make sports teams, this school will also support them.
Our school has ‘career day’ twice a year. In this day, all students can learn about different careers and locations. But, as we have a very long vacation, we recommend for students to have a lot of experience as much as possible, and they can carve out their future themselves.
This is the end of the presentation. Thank you.
날짜 : 2017-03-25 11:14:30 | 교정 : 2 | 조회 : 538
사용된 언어 : English
태그 : school presentation

[ 교정 ]
국적 : Philippines
모국어 : Filipino (Tagalog)
구사언어 : English(최고급)
교육언어 : English
학습언어 : Korean(선택안함)
상세보기 쪽지보내기
It is not a necessary for a student to speak foreign language fluently even in this school. Yet learning foreign language could open a lot of opportunities like communicating with the foreigners, exploring the world and even opportunity to get a job abroad. But when school force the students to study the things they aren't interested in, it might be a burden for them. School doesn't provide sports team. But when students want to have sports team who are interested in the same events, school supports.

Our school has "Carrer Day" twice a year wherein different careers and locations are introduced. Since we have a very long vacation, we recommend to students to get experience as much as they can. Because they can mold their future by themselves.
날짜 : 2017-04-23 22:38:39
댓글수 : 0 댓글추가

[ 교정 ]
국적 : United Kingdom
모국어 : English
구사언어 : Spanish(고급)
학습언어 :
상세보기 쪽지보내기
In my school it is not necessary for a student to speak a foreign language fluently. However, learning a foreign language could open a lot of opportunities, like communicating with foreigners, exploring the world and could even lead to the opportunity of finding a job abroad. But when a school forces their students to study subjects that they aren't really interested in, these subjects can become a burden for the students.

Our school doesn't provide the opportunity for students to take part in a School Sports Team, so students have to form their own teams if they want to play and take part in these activities, (Not quite sure what you wanted to say in this sentence?)

Our school has a career day (or 'carrer day'??) twice a year in which different careers and job positions?? are introduced to the students. As we have a very long school vacation, we recommend the students get as much experience as they can (you mean work placement experience?) because this experience is vital to enable them to build a successful future.

I'm not quite sure who is speaking. A student of the school or someone who is not a student speaking about the school. Anyway I hope this is helpful.
날짜 : 2017-10-10 05:45:21
댓글수 : 0 댓글추가