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concert of famous singer (교정 : 1)
국적 : Korea, Republic of
모국어 : Korean
구사언어 :
학습언어 :
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Me and my familly and my friends went a concert together at friday.
Beast and T-ara and Rainbow came a concert.
We are wating a Beast. I like a Beast so much.
Beacause their song is very good and their seems cute.
Beast is very famouse idol in korea.
And their have concert in other contry.
I saw him my self. I'm so so exited in friday night.
I want to see again Beast.
I love you Beast!!!
날짜 : 2012-05-13 15:25:46 | 교정 : 1 | 조회 : 4,673
사용된 언어 : English
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[ 교정 ]
국적 : United States
모국어 : English
구사언어 :
학습언어 :
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Hi Jamie- good job! I would write it like this:

My family, friends and I went to a concert together on Friday.
Beast, T-ara and Rainbow performed at the concert.
We were waiting for Beast. I like Beast so much, because their songs are very good and they seem cute.
Beast are very famous idols in Korea, and they have concerts in other countries.
I saw them myself. I was so so excited on Friday night.
I want to see Beast again.
I love you Beast!!!

Try not to start sentences with words like "and" and "because". It is possible in some special cases, but it is usually incorrect. Keep it up!
날짜 : 2012-05-16 10:40:50
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