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diet society (교정 : 1)
국적 : Korea, Republic of
모국어 : Korean
구사언어 : English(선택안함)
학습언어 : Chinese (Mandarin)(중급)
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So many people around me are on a diet.
Sometime they seems to be addicted to losing weight.
Why they are obssesed with that?
Actually Korean women weigh under average at their age.
What makes them think they are fat and ugly?
They look like to believe if they lose weight, they can be saved.
All the people are need to be loved themselves as is.
What need to be corrected is the ugly thought of our society about beauty.
Crazy people in crazy world.
날짜 : 2012-05-05 10:25:24 | 교정 : 1 | 조회 : 4,804
사용된 언어 : English
태그 :

[ 교정 ]
국적 : Canada
모국어 : English
구사언어 : Korean(중급), French(중급)
학습언어 :
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Great job Jamie! This one is improved from the one before. Here are my corrections:

So many people around me are on a diet.
Sometimes they seem to be addicted to losing weight.
Why are they obssesed with that?
Actually, Korean women weigh less than average for their age.
What makes them think they are fat and ugly?
They seem to believe that if they lose weight, they can be saved.
All people need to love themselves the way they are.
What needs to be corrected is the ugly attitude of our society about beauty.
Crazy people in a crazy world...


Hope this helps!
날짜 : 2012-05-08 22:36:17
댓글수 : 1 댓글추가
  • jamie
  • I really thank you for your help Todd!!!
  • 날짜 : 2012-05-18 00:33:32